Rigid, Controlled, Planned

That's me.

Yesterday, I could not find my carefully planned-out to-do list. I almost had an anxiety attack. I know most people exaggerate when they say that, but the uneasy wave of emotion that overwhelmed was real. My mind raced, trying to remember everything I had written down. I organized the to-do list with two divisions, academic and "other", with assignments and time-sensitive things to do. I became angry at myself, wishing I had typed it and saved it to a USB drive.

I ended up re-writing another one, but it's almost a nightmare to think of the things I could've forgotten. What could I have forgotten?

I don't go anywhere without my agenda. I need a schedule, a step-by-step plan. It baffles me how people go about each day on a whim, without guidance or reminders. I can't function that way.

A couple months ago, I participated in a StrengthsQuest seminar that helped you identify your strengths and how they can be applied in leadership. My #1 strength? Discipline. I didn't need a test to tell me that, but after some thought, I figured...my very own strength can be a weakness.

I must admit, sometimes I am a Debbie-Downer because spontaneity does not fit into my schedule. Whenever it pops up, I analyze everything--the consequences, the benefits, the time. If it fails my approval, I shoo it away. An overwhelming to-do list also can be uber-stressful, but prioritizing always helps...although that doesn't prevent me doing the easy things first and avoiding the hardest one like I'm doing now.

But anyhow, I'm weird. End of story.

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Just an Ordinary Day

Today, I woke up. Showered. Got ready. Ate. Did my homework. Nap. Ate. And did more homework.

If it weren't for the bitter tweets of the lonely and FB statuses of those in-love, today would have just been another day. Actually, it was just an ordinary day.

Why do people make such a big fuss of St. Valentine's Day? I understand stores capitalize on the holiday by making it obnoxiously annoying that it's coming near--a subtle subliminal message that you either a) need a valentine b) need to buy something for your loved one or c) make you feel like shit if you're single. Stores don't care about your love life; they just want money. On February 15th, stores will be glossed with blinding emerald green accessories for the next saint holiday.

Couples should buy each other gifts, take each other out and express love 365 days a year.

Singles should wallow in their loneliness 365 days a year save two-three months of failed dating.

One day out of the entire year should not be fussed over except if it's your birthday.

Geez. ♥

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Average Disappointment

College has academically humbled me.

In high school, I would churn out A's effortlessly, never expecting anything less. My transcript was virtually immaculate save the B in sophomore year geometry. But now, an A is rare, a B omnipresent, a C sporadic. Excellence is no longer effortless; it's impossible.

Perhaps that is an exaggeration. I did manage to earn two A's last semester, the firsts of my college career. But I still don't understand what professors look for. What are the products and behaviors of an A student? Why is it easier for others and not for me?

Have you ever handed in an assignment, confident in your hard work, excited to reap your rewards, but then the graded assignment, once returned, breaks you heart, kills your ego, induces a tear?

That happened to me today. The professor did warn, in the beginning of the class, that our goal should be to improve as the semester goes by--nobody will ever receive an A on their first assignment. It makes me think: did I really deserve this C or is it a rite of passage?

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Tights as Pants = TMI

If you are a victim of wearing tights-as-pants, do not worry or be ashamed. There is still hope for you. Next time you pull out those sheer spandex "pants" that serve more as long-johns, please make sure that:

1. There is no camel toe.
2. Your butt cheeks are not exposed.
3. The color of your underwear cannot be seen.

Girls, of all shapes and sizes, prance around on campus albeit 20 degree weather using tights-as pants. Why? I've heard heard excuses such as:

1. They're sooo comfortable. How comfortable can you be exposing your goods?
2. I hate wearing jeans. Then what did you wear before they came on to the scene circa 2005-2006 AD?

Tights do not protect you from the rain. Tights do not keep you warm (unless worn underneath jeans). I understand wearing tights-as-pants for the purpose of going out--attention-getters for the opposite sex--but in broad daylight, in public...it's not cute.

Thanks to my fellow friend-blogger SDREY, she found a website that supports the anti-pants-as tights cause:

tightsarenotpants.com

Genius. Complete with a DIY press kit that includes fliers to distribute on campus, the website's aim is to educate offenders and lead them to a path of redemption.

Check the website out!

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Simple is More

Are you one of those who stalks their own pictures? I am. In my last stalking adventure, I came across my prom pictures. Prom. Oh how overrated you were. Pictures with the many people I do not even speak to anymore, outrageous expenses and semi-yummy food. There is one thing I at least enjoyed: my dress.

Originally a bridesmaid dress ($150), I spiced up the otherwise overly simple dress into a classic piece from the ivi-mo clothing line. My mom hated it. She felt, as prom is a one time experience, I should be decked out in sequins, glitter, and cleavage/abdominal cut-outs, but that's just not me. Its simplicity and deep, rich color enamoured my senses. I played it up with leopard print on the ribbon, corsage, and my partner's handkerchief (my favorite pattern of all time).

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Modernized Quinceañero

I stumbled upon these quinceañero, or sweet 15, pictures and immediately concluded how slightly drab and traditional mine was. My party was filled with roses, lace, and the colors of pink, burgundy, white, and gold. This girl, obviously creative and spunky, remixed her party to tailor it to her own style and personality. Bright colors, zebra print, couture-esque pictures. I give it a two-thumbs up!

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Foreshadowing Lyrics?

Songwriter: Robert Angleró
Singer: Rúben Blades (from El Gran Combo at the time)

Written in the early 1980s, the old-school salsa song "Si Dios Fuera Negro" or if "If God Were Black" discusses how the world would have been different if the song title were true. The song is powerful. Lyrics have been translated by intended meaning not by direct translation; it's the best way to translate anything from one language to another. See for yourself:

Si Dios fuera negro -mi compay- todo cambiaría

If God were black - my friend - everything would change
Fuera nuestra raza -mi compay- la que mandaría

Our race - my friend - would be in charge

Negro el presidente y el gobernador

Black would be the president and the governor too
Negro el abogado y negro el doctor compay

Black would be the lawyer and black would be the doctor, my friend

Chorus

Negra la azucena

Black the lily
Y negra la tiza

And black the chalk

Negra Blanca Nieve

A black Snow White
Negra Mona Lisa

A black Mona Lisa

Chorus

Negro fuera el día

Black would be daylight
Negro fuera el sol

Black would be the sun
Negra la mañana

Black would be the morning
Negro el algodón

Black would be cotton

Chorus

Negro fuera el Papa

Black would be the Pope
Y negro el ministro

And black the minister
Los angeles negros

Black angels
Negro Jesus Cristo -compay-

A black Jesus Christ-my friend-

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So Fresh and So Clean, Clean

I may love fresh apples, fresh hair-do's, and fresh coffee, but nothing, I mean nothing, beats FRESH SCHOOL SUPPLIES. The immaculate smell of an unused notebook infiltrates my senses and turns on the 'Ready to Hustle' button. The clean, polished pages are ready, too. Never before have they been so prepared to learn about Latin-American politics, communication writing, oral presentations or Hispanic literature. After the first month or so, the notebook will begin to age, but only out of love. We will be attached at the shoulder, following me everywhere in my book bag. It's going to support me in my studying, accompany me in the library, and entertain me (i.e., doodling) when I'm bored. Our relationship will only last 13 weeks, but it will be 13 weeks of mental sweat, hand cramps and hard work.

Pens, necessary tools to transcribe notes, are not as favorited as the dear notebook. They always leave me, cheating on me with any person that picks them up. Skanks. And out of a pack of 12, two or few tend to not work on me--immediately deciding on first contact that we are not meant to be. But that's alright, I have replacements (dozens of them). I must admit, however, that the best pens--the ones that glide like angels across college-ruled pages--are the ones I steal, borrow, and pick up for myself. Don't judge me.

Lastly, I cannot forget about the folder. Its short life-span is unfortunate. Unless a plastic one is purchased, paper folders crinkle, tear, and bend at nobody's mercy. Too much high maintenance for me, but its existence is necessary anyway to keep my graded assignments, syllabi and love letters organized in one place.

Nonetheless, fresh school supplies make me happy. I feel at peace inside office supply closets, giddy in the Target school supply aisles, and in heaven at Staples.

P.S. I CANNOT FORGET MY LOVE FOR STICKY NOTES. But I'll save that for another day.

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Triumphant Book Bargains

I just saved $210 in textbooks. And boy, it feels GREAT. I beat the system or at least I'd like to think so. Extra money fills my pockets for other business ventures.

Barnes & Noble is a conspiracy. It purposely lists books of brand new editions i.e. 2010 with publishers that are difficult to find. But with the help of three saviors, I find the textbooks at least 80% cheaper:

Chegg, a book-rental company, allows you to rent books for an entire semester for significantly cheaper prices. This past semester, I rented a $90 for $40. Friendly reminders are given towards the end of the semester/due date of the book to avoid fee charges. Sending the book back is FREE: the shipping label is available online and is also sent with the book.

I love to use half.com for older books (early 1990s and older). I frequently find these books at a selling price for $.75. Even though shipping handling adds another $2.99-3.99, that's still $4-5 for a book. Wowza!

If you don't know where to start or cannot find your book, Dealoz compiles all sites that sell the book and does it in a manner where you can compare prices. Easy-peasy!

Happy text-book shopping!

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I'm like a bird...

On June 13th 2009, I mustered up the courage to get inked. I originally wanted this tattoo to kick off my freshman year of college, but it instead wrapped the year up and marked the beginning of my summer. With a full-time job and my own apartment sans bills in the city of Boston, I ironically felt free. I wasn't caged in my house, caged by rules or caged by parents. It felt great to feel and act like an adult. Freedom.

My first vision was to have the dove done in white ink, but all the tattoo parlors I visited claimed it was too much of a risk. I refused to do black. So I settled with brown--a great choice. The brown ink has changed into a soft henna-like hue that perfectly complements my skin color. Its position on my shoulder makes it appear as if its flying away; wherever it goes, I follow.

I've grown to notice that I have transient tendencies. I seek constant change; I get bored easily. Whether it's done through a haircut, a change of style, a nose ring (done in September) or an ear piercing (done mid-summer), I change small things in my life to make up for the big things I cannot change.

The tattoo took no longer than five minutes, but those five minutes were painful. I'd say the first three minutes, I was alone. My friend was running late and wasn't there to comfort me, but I didn't mind so much now that I think about it. This was something personal; it's meant to be done alone.

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