Rigid, Controlled, Planned

That's me.

Yesterday, I could not find my carefully planned-out to-do list. I almost had an anxiety attack. I know most people exaggerate when they say that, but the uneasy wave of emotion that overwhelmed was real. My mind raced, trying to remember everything I had written down. I organized the to-do list with two divisions, academic and "other", with assignments and time-sensitive things to do. I became angry at myself, wishing I had typed it and saved it to a USB drive.

I ended up re-writing another one, but it's almost a nightmare to think of the things I could've forgotten. What could I have forgotten?

I don't go anywhere without my agenda. I need a schedule, a step-by-step plan. It baffles me how people go about each day on a whim, without guidance or reminders. I can't function that way.

A couple months ago, I participated in a StrengthsQuest seminar that helped you identify your strengths and how they can be applied in leadership. My #1 strength? Discipline. I didn't need a test to tell me that, but after some thought, I figured...my very own strength can be a weakness.

I must admit, sometimes I am a Debbie-Downer because spontaneity does not fit into my schedule. Whenever it pops up, I analyze everything--the consequences, the benefits, the time. If it fails my approval, I shoo it away. An overwhelming to-do list also can be uber-stressful, but prioritizing always helps...although that doesn't prevent me doing the easy things first and avoiding the hardest one like I'm doing now.

But anyhow, I'm weird. End of story.